T.J. Watt: "Hey, Siri, what's the score of the Wisconsin game?"
Siri: "Wisconsin is leading Northwestern, 7 to 3, at halftime."
Oh, come on. I had to tease him. Just had to.
I mean, if that wasn't the laziest thing I'd seen in forever: A hyper-intense, hyper-intelligent NFL linebacker looking down at his iPhone and, rather than manually searching out his alma mater, speaking it to the in-house robot?
"Did it work?" he shot back.
I checked his screen. It had Badgers and Wildcats roaming all over. It worked.
"All right then."
And with that came a 90-watt smile from No. 90.
Which was as close as anyone would come on this sweltering Saturday afternoon at the Rooney Complex to showing the slightest sign of such a thing. At least from what I could see. When the Steelers were on the field for a two-hour practice that would be their final prep for the Monday night meeting with the Bengals at Heinz Field, there was none of the usual whooping it up. When they were done, the mood ranged from dour to ... I don't know, determined?
"Damned determined," Cam Heyward came back when I brought that up. "We need that first win. We need it."
Yeah, they kinda do. They're 0-3. And since 1980, of the 176 teams to start an NFL season 0-3, only six -- that's S-I-X -- have gone on to make the playoffs.
Only once has it happened this century, actually, and that was the Texans just last year. They opened with losses to the Patriots (a-hem), Titans and Giants, then took care of a divisional opponent (a-hem), then rode an 11-2 roll to the top of the AFC South and, hence, the playoffs.
The lesson here?
Eh, none, really.
I suppose I could stress that the Texans went 4-1 within their division the rest of the way, or 8-2 within the conference the rest of the way. But all that really happened was that Bill O'Brien's defense blossomed into one of the league's most dynamic, DeShaun Watson consistently put up points, and the team just got better.
Similarly, I suppose I could stress that the Steelers could be 1-0 within the AFC North by beating the equally winless Bengals. And that they'd be 1-1 within the AFC, which would help with tiebreakers down the road. And that their division stinks, with a cumulative 3-9 record. And that those three wins came against the Dolphins, Cardinals and Jets. And that the Steelers, too, will eventually face the Dolphins, Cardinals and Jets, not to mention the Andrew Luck-less Colts.
But none of that matters if Monday brings 0-4. That wouldn't just pull the plug. That'll rip the socket right out of the wall.
The players, without question, get that. And I know because, as I worked around the room and asked one after the other if they'd contemplated their own path to contention, the response was universal.
James Washington's was the most powerful.
"I'm going to be honest with you: We just need a win, man," he began. "No more excuses. We need a win around here, and we've got to get something done. The only way to get it done is to take it day by day, week by week. We can't look into the future and say, 'Aw, we can still do this,' or 'We can still do that,' or 'We can still make the playoffs.' We need to win this game first. That's my focus."
It's everyone's, apparently.
Heyward: "I'm not even thinking about AFC North or anything like that. Let's get that first one. Get the monkey off the back. Look, we understand that everything's still possible if we take care of our business. But that business means crossing the first hurdle."
Bud Dupree: "It's just about a win. If we win Monday, there's a lot of stuff we can build off. Let's get that confidence back in this group, get the fans confident in us again. We'll look at the math after that."
Terrell Edmunds: "We gotta win. We gotta win. Don't matter who we're playing. Don't matter how we do it. Win the game."
Matt Feiler: "One day. One game."
One gets the idea.
I'm sour about this scenario. I fessed up on that count after Seattle, and San Francisco only worsened it. That's primarily because the offense remains putrid. And unlike the 2018 team, which dug an identity from its defense, then augmented with modest offense, this one ... isn't quite there yet defensively, and it's solar systems away offensively.
Maybe the latter will change Monday. That'd be more uplifting than anything shy of the actual W. The Bengals have been abysmal against the run, allowing 168.7 yards per game. What's more, indications are strong that Jaylen Samuels will have the football in his hands more than, uh, zero times, as was the case in San Francisco. That'll offer Mason Rudolph more in-tight outlets than he had against the 49ers. That'll also offer, I'll bet, more straight-ahead running than we've seen so far from James Conner. Add that to the possibility that the underperforming line will stop underperforming, and there's cause for optimism at finding their first real rhythm of 2019.
The rhythm, to me, is the key. Although Randy Fichtner chose to criticize Rudolph for holding back on targets downfield -- I had no problem with the OC speaking his mind there, by the way -- what's needed most is a sense of command. Splash is wonderful, but that sense of command comes with moving the chains. And converting third downs.
"I think you’re taking what the defense gives you," Rudolph said. "I do love pushing the ball down the field in chunk plays but, at the same time, if that’s not there, if they’re not having it, you’ve got to be smart with the ball and check it down and maybe not force it into those tight windows."
Make simple plays. Move the ball.
And on the other side, take the ball.
I'm not about to engage in hyperbole regarding any facet of an 0-3 team, but the defense delivering five takeaways last week, even accounting for the 49ers' generosity, gave off the vibe of a group that could be terrific if it's ever not forced to log 70-plus snaps a game. Minkah Fitzpatrick, in particular, was superb. So was the pass rush, which one would presume will be that much more effective against perpetually skittish Andy Dalton.
Fitzpatrick, Devin Bush and Edmunds could flip the script on a longstanding shortcoming across the middle.
"A little better every week," Edmunds told me. "You're seeing it. That's what we're trying to be, the kind of defense that gets our hands on the football. And we will. We've gotten better, but it hasn't been enough. Need more. Need to get a W."
This dude smiles nonstop. Not when he spoke this.
