Get Zach Aston-Reese back up here.
And let that be just the beginning.
Because, if we're being honest after the Penguins casually smoked the tail end of another crooked cigarette Monday night at PPG Paints Arena, this by a 5-1 count to the Devils, the underlying problem beneath this team's underwhelming play since coming home from Canada is this: Their supporting cast of forwards brings them next to nothing.
Through 13 games, it's no longer an opinion ...
Matt Cullen: 1 goal, 2 assists
Riley Sheahan: 1 goal, 1 assist
Bryan Rust: 1 goal, 2 assists
Carl Hagelin: 1 goal, 2 assists
Daniel Sprong: 0 goals, 4 assists
Derek Grant: 0 goals, 0 assists
Now, Hagelin's been a mostly effective contributor to a mostly effective second line, but points are still needed. Patric Hornqvist's got four goals as a badly miscast third-liner, which Mike Sullivan finally began to address by moving him alongside Evgeni Malkin and Hagelin late in this game. The fairer targets, then, are Derick Brassard, who had a goal and four assists through eight games before getting hurt. And I'd throw in that Dominik Simon hasn't exactly risen above, with one whole goal skating alongside Sidney Crosby.
Can't stress this enough: I'm not absolving anyone involved in this latest embarrassment. That list runs legitimately 20 deep.
I mean, this happened in the third period. Just watch:
That, my friends, was a group that would have gotten shelled by the Shaler JV.
But here's the broader point: This roster won't function properly without real forward depth. And this isn't all about goals. If the third and fourth lines won't score, they've got to at least generate energy, possession, physical play. Something. Anything. And there's none of it in sight. The bottom six have combined for 95 total shots through 13 games, or 7.3 per game. In advanced analytics, every one of them ranks below the vital 50 percent mark in Corsi For percentage, meaning they've all been on the ice for more team shots conceded than taken.
Heck, Riley Sheahan and Cullen, who were expected to provide unprecedented center depth, actually have the two lowest Corsi For percentages on the team at 41.37 and 39.64, respectively.
Cullen was brought back, in part, for his leadership, as Jim Rutherford made clear the day of the reacquisition. So when the locker room opened after this game, I walked directly No. 7's stall to ask ... you know, what the H-E-double-hockey-sticks?
"Well, we haven't had any consistency," Cullen began. "The bottom six hasn't provided enough offense, and that's why we find ourselves in a tough spot right now."
I sure wouldn't dispute it.
So, what's got to happen?
"Really, I think it's got to go for everyone," Cullen continued. "We've got to ... sort of check everything, maybe start over a little bit. I think things went awfully well for us on the road, and maybe we can get a little sense of comfort, like, 'Oh, we're all set here.' But we're not where we need to be yet. Not in any regard. And I think all of us need to push each other. All of us. Because we all have another level we can get to."
Maybe he's right. He'd certainly know as well as anyone.
And maybe Sullivan was right, too, when he strikingly stated afterward, "The solution to our challenges are right inside of that dressing room. We believe in this group, that we have what it takes to be a very good team in the league. They've shown the ability to do it. It's funny, a week ago when we went 4-0 on our Canada trip ... we know we have what it takes to be a better team. We just have to work together.”
Hm. Allow me, please, a momentary conspiracy theory, but Sullivan shared that stance about the roster -- unsolicited, I might add -- only after taking more than a half-hour to make it to the postgame podium, and only after Rutherford was seen leaving the press box at the second intermission, not to be seen again. It would be plenty reasonable to assume a management-level meeting had taken place just beforehand.
Just saying.
Anyway, I'll stubbornly stand by this: Get on the horn with Aston-Reese, fresh off an AHL hat trick Sunday for Wilkes-Barre/Scranton. He's got six goals, tied for the team lead with another left winger, Garrett Wilson. He's also gotten back to barging to the net and all the other "swagger" elements Sullivan had sought upon his demotion at the end of training camp.
Aston-Reese won't be some panacea, and I'm not pretending otherwise. But he sure wouldn't hurt. If Sullivan needs a reminder as to why, he can listen to his own quote after this game in which he bemoaned, "When we have a swagger to our game, we're a real good hockey team. These past couple games, we haven't had that."
Nope. Get the kid who does.
Consider others, too. It's not exactly a treasure trove in Wilkes-Barre these days, but Wilson's got those six goals, as well as NHL experience and crazy-high competitiveness. And don't forget about Teddy Blueger, a grinding-type center who created more offense through camp and the preseason than any depth center still here, including Brassard. Blueger's got four goals.
Any of them would be better than, say, Grant. And because Grant's still within 10 games or 30 days since already clearing waivers this season, according to our Taylor Haase, he wouldn't need to do so again — presuming the Penguins would want to retain his rights.
Find help. Find energy. Find some fire.
I don't need to remind anyone who's followed this franchise that Sullivan and Rutherford have done this in the past, to great effect. It doesn't always have to be about who arrives as much as the intended impact. The bottom-six guys here right now are doing nothing and, worse, not trying terribly hard.
Unless, of course, anyone can explain why it was Hornqvist rather than a bottom-six guy who had to go out and start stirring trouble with the Devils to try to squeeze any semblance of emotion from his team.
No?
OK, get moving, then.
• Hornqvist stood tallest in the room, too, making plenty clear right as reporters entered that he had something to say. Which he did: "Let's just get back to hard work and doing the small things right. We have to get back to working for each other and ... maybe have a little more fun with it. Like now, we're one-and-done all over the ice. ... Right now, everything is kind of frustrating. That didn't go the way anyone wanted. We have high expectations of ourselves and of each other. No one's playing up to those expectations right now."
• Sullivan shook up his lines at the second intermission, curiously splitting up the only one that had been effective in Hagelin, Malkin and Phil Kessel. Which had to make it feel like all the greater of a gut-punch when the Devils rammed home their fifth goal 19 seconds into the third period.
Still, some good could come from it.
I've been pleading for months for a reunion of Hagelin, Malkin and Hornqvist, a trio that had been one of the NHL's best for a big chunk of the 2017-18 season. Their straight-line approach, as well as their own exceptional communication with each other, complement Malkin wonderfully. This would be a welcome change.
Kessel with Crosby happened, too. I'm not sure why that's never been given more than a couple shifts at a time since Kessel was acquired, but it could be worth a look. If nothing else, Crosby and Jake Guentzel would get a real shooter.
Good luck with all of this, though. Line chemistry's been a challenge all along, and it won't be an easy fix.
• Not many sports subjects get overblown like home/road splits, but the Penguins are 2-4-1 at home, 4-0-2 on the road and, more significant, they just look so much more focused outside of Pittsburgh.
It's early, but it felt like a fair subject to broach:
• Imagine watching a game like this and singling out the goaltending.
I know, I know, if you're familiar with the sport even in the slightest, you can't. But just imagine what that must be like.
Because the Devils' first three goals on Matt Murray came on an essential empty-netter after an odd carom through the slot, another shot that was redirected twice and another shot that was redirected to the top corner from right in front of his crease. The only realistic chance he had at any of the three is if the puck would have accidentally struck him, and that's it.
"It's definitely been a frustrating stretch, maybe one of the most frustrating of my career," Murray acknowledged. "But to be honest, I feel pretty good most games, just the results aren't there. I've got a make a couple extra saves."
He sure didn't get pulled after two periods on merit. He stopped a short-handed two-on-none -- no, that phrase wasn't mistyped -- as well as two other clean breakaways and multiple other glorious New Jersey chances. If those hadn't happened, we'd all be discussing a debacle of epic proportions.
• Sorry, but a Brian Boyle hat trick on Hockey Fights Cancer night in Pittsburgh is beyond poetic. And the first of his career, to boot.
Good for him. Let it inspire.
• Want another reason to smile?
Jamie Oleksiak's goal in the first period was his fourth on the young season and the latest in a line of absolutely booming one-timers:
Yowza. Unscreened, too. Just blew it by Keith Kinkaid to the short side.
It's not an accident. I've been talking with Oleksiak about this a good bit lately, and it's been a big emphasis for him in practices, even morning skates. He's always had the size and strength, obviously, but he's doing better than ever at getting his feet set -- squarely, toward the pass -- for maximum torque.
"I've always had the shot," Oleksiak told me. "It's more about making it count, putting it where it's supposed to go."
• Just for fun: Oleksiak's got as many goals as all of those bottom-six forwards I listed up there. Insane.
• Maybe heading to D.C. next will be for the best, as two veterans confirmed for me ... emphatically. Remember, it wasn't until the Penguins were tasked with a significant challenge in Toronto a couple weeks ago that they collectively woke up. If they sleepwalk against the Capitals as they did in this one, they'll fish a dozen pucks from their net.
"You'll see a very different team in our next game," one of those vets told me. "I can promise you that."
• Hey, maybe pick up a few friends along the way. Mapquest shows it's less than a four-hour drive down Interstates 81 and 83 from Wilkes-Barre to Washington. Toss ZAR the keys.
MATT SUNDAY GALLERY
Penguins vs. Devils, PPG Paints Arena, Nov. 5, 2018 - MATT SUNDAY / DKPS