When you cover sports for a living, you don't often have to deal with the tragedy other journalists do on a regular basis.
The most devastating thing sports reporters typically deal with is a team or athlete losing in a championship or dealing with a major injury such as the Ryan Shazier situation. They're tough moments, to be sure, but not to the same level as covering a murder or reporting on the events surrounding a car accident or some kind of natural disaster.
I've done that earlier in my career as a news reporter. Every time I drive past the spot on I-80 where I covered my first fatality as a news reporter, the memories of arriving at that scene come back to me. Or where I was on the campus at Saint Vincent College when I learned of the passing of former Steelers wide receivers coach Darryl Drake.
But this is not about me. This is about Dwayne Haskins.
Haskins was struck down in the prime of his life Saturday morning along I-595 in South Florida by a passing vehicle. He had been in Boca Raton, working out with teammates in an attempt to take the next step in his career and earn a spot on the Steelers' roster again in 2022.
I won't pretend that I knew Haskins well. In fact, because of COVID-19 restrictions, I really didn't know him at all. I had been around him. I had watched him on the field and interacting with his new teammates, whom he joined at the end of the 2020 season following his release by Washington.
Obviously there had been circumstances surrounding his release by Washington less than two years after the team used the 15th pick in the 2019 draft to acquire him. He had shown some immaturity issues, to be sure. But he joined his hometown franchise at 21. As a first-round pick, he was tasked with being the face of the franchise. There were reportedly plenty of distractions and issues.
We didn't see that in Pittsburgh. What we saw was a player who was well-liked by his teammates. We saw a player who stayed long after practice throwing to receivers. We saw a player who looked like he wanted to reinvent himself and take advantage of his second chance in the NFL.
Though we only got to speak to Haskins a few times either via Zoom calls or in press conference-like settings, you could see that Haskins was taking this very seriously.
He talked about approaching different teammates on a daily basis and striking up a conversation in an effort to get to know him. Apparently, it worked. Nobody on the Steelers' roster had a bad thing to say about Haskins. He would be seen on a regular basis joking with the defensive linemen, the cornerbacks, the specialists. It didn't seem to matter who they were, they all liked Haskins.
The on-field work wasn't quite up to par -- at least not last preseason when he was given an opportunity to unseat Mason Rudolph as the Steelers' No. 2 quarterback.
Haskins and Rudolph both had solid preseasons. The Steelers gave Haskins a chance in the team's preseason finale at Carolina to win the No. 2 job. Competing with mostly backups against Carolina's starters, Haskins went 9 of 16 for 106 yards, one touchdown and one interception.
It was OK, not great. After flaming out in Washington, where he posted a 3-10 record as a starter, Haskins could have pouted. He didn't. He looked at things realistically.
"I felt like I’ve done a great job just showing that I’m coachable," Haskins said after that game. "Showing that I’m wanting to learn, wanting to get better. Just trying to put things on film that can showcase what I can do. The first three games are something that I’m rather proud of. Then of course the way we started is something that I wanted better of. The best thing that I can do is hope that what I’ve done throughout the preseason, throughout training camp, is enough body of work to showcase how much I’ve improved."
That went beyond his on-field play. After being released by Washington, Haskins seemed to be much more in tune with what it took to be a quarterback in the NFL.
It's more than just having the talent. It's about being a leader both on and off the field, realizing that, as a quarterback, all eyes are on you.
"I've still got a ways to go. But as far as being comfortable in my own skin, I've done that," Haskins said last August. "I've been getting to know the coaches and players, weight room coaches, scouts, guys in the building because as far as being the quarterback, it's working with the guys around you, getting them to believe in you. From when I first got here, I'm growing into who I want to be."
That seemed to be the case. And for that, beyond anything that ever happened on the football field, this truly is a tragedy.
Dwayne Haskins won't get another opportunity to show the world who he could be as he grew and matured.
Maybe things were never going to work out for him as a quarterback in the NFL. Maybe they were. But after failing in Washington -- likely for the first time in his life he wasn't good enough -- he seemed to find himself.
And now he's gone.
To say it's tragic is an understatement.
In a sport where most retire before they reach 30, he had so much ahead of him that didn't involve throwing a ball.
For the Steelers organization, it's a reminder of life's frailties, which they didn't necessarily need to be reminded of yet again. This is, after all, an organization that saw Drake die at training camp in 2019 and then went through a situation similar to the one with Haskins last summer when the brother of defensive lineman Stephon Tuitt was struck and killed in a hit-and-run accident.
Much like that spot along I-80 where I covered my first traffic fatality so many years ago, I'll remember where I was when I got the text saying there was a rumor making the rounds that Haskins had been killed. Or getting word in my dorm room at Saint Vincent College that Drake had died. I'll remember confirming Haskins' death and the sick feeling I had in the pit of my stomach.
I have two sons of my own, one 26 and the other 22. At 24, Haskins is right in the middle of those two. He just as easily could have been one of my own sons.
So, you hurt for his family. You feel the pain of his wife. His teammates. His coaches.
Most of all, you hurt for a young man with so much ahead of him struck down by an accident all too soon.
