DENVER -- Everyone's on fire.
At least, that's how the first inning played out for the Pirates in this 11-8 win a mile up in the Rocky Mountains. At a certain point, I swore I heard Oprah bellowing from above — "YOU get a hit! And YOU get a hit!" — but I confirmed with staff PR she was not actually onsite at Coors Field.
Just an illusion, I guess.
What wasn't an illusion was all this:
Count 'em. Seven runs, one inning. Actually, that's seven runs in two-thirds of an inning. It was just slightly ridiculous.
"To get seven in the first ... it doesn't happen very often," Clint Hurdle was saying after the game.
And, yeah, we're a hop, skip and a jump away from the mesosphere here in Denver, but...
"It doesn't happen very often anywhere," Hurdle was quick to add.
But it happened tonight, and rookie Kevin Newman was responsible for three of those seven. In all, he'd go for four hits — his second four-hit game in five days and his fourth of the year, the most by any rookie since Mike Trout's five in 2012.
Just how ridiculous was Newman's game? With the cycle on the table — he'd hit a home run, a double and a single leading into his fourth at-bat — he ... hit another home run.
And that kinda bugged him.
"Everybody, as I was walking down the dugout, everybody goes, 'Just hit a triple. Hit a triple. Hit a triple,'" Newman was saying at his locker after the game. " ... It was a win-win. Off the bat, I didn't think they were going to catch it. I figured if it gets out, it gets out and if it doesn't, I was busting for a triple.
"It definitely would've been really cool to get an accomplishment like that. But I also never hit two home runs in a game either, so that's a cool accomplishment too."
Now, digest everything to this point. A seven-run first. Another Newman home run late. I'll even add that Jose Osuna blasted a 440-foot solo bomb in the fourth.
All this early offense, and the Pirates still almost gave it away in the eighth. That's what happens when you turn to Montana DuRapau up 11-3. Fresh off a call-up today from Class AAA Indianapolis, DuRapau logged two quick outs and then:
Wait, don't roll your eyes too much yet. There's more:
OK, OK, so get him out of there with two-thirds of an inning pitched, three hits, four earned runs, one walk and one strikeout. Let Michael Feliz take over.
Yep. That happened.
Three batters faced, two hits, one earned run, one walk, zero strikeouts and one home run for Feliz. It's never a good sign when your line starts with "batters faced" rather than "innings pitched."
Feliz couldn't get an out, and he visibly showed frustration prior to getting yanked, slamming the rosin bag on the mound and pounding his glove.
"With an eight-run lead, you like to see your underbelly of your bullpen be able to pick up an inning," Hurdle said. "Feliz followed [DuRapau] up — and he has the best numbers against left-handed hitters of anybody in the bullpen not named Vazquez. We didn't manage the eighth inning well and gave up five."
Feliz was yanked for Francisco Liriano, who struck out the next batter, before handing the ball to Felipe Vazquez to do ... well, Vazquez stuff. He notched two strikeouts — the second coming off 102-MPH heat — before...
Right to Newman.
Fitting.
• Chi Chi Gonzalez's first-inning walk of shame was just ... brutal. I was at Mitch Keller's disastrous MLB debut in Cincinnati. Somehow, what Gonzalez did tonight against the Pirates was worse. Much, much worse.
He gave up seven earned runs in the first inning, getting pulled with just two outs in the bag. From the first at-bat, you kinda knew, man:
Yep. That set the stage, but six more runs followed, leading Gonzalez to a final line of: 2/3 innings-pitched, seven earned runs, seven hits, a home run, no strikeouts, one walk.
"We talked about Gonzalez," Hurdle said. "He's going to try to live on the margins, look for something over the middle. If you can get it, just put a good swing on it. Don't over-swing."
So bad, it's almost impressive.
• None of this is to undersell what Trevor Williams did. After giving up two runs in the first, Williams' final line — seven innings pitched, seven hits, three earned runs, zero walks, six strikeouts — impresses.
Especially on the moon.
"That was a grown-man outing, seven innings in this ballpark," Hurdle said.
Williams threw 88 pitches, 64 for strikes.
Read that again — and remember DuRapau. Why not just put Williams out for the eighth, right? It's a reasonable thought — but it's one Hurdle shut down with authority after the game.
"If you have no understanding of how tough it is to pitch here seven innings ... He had enough," Hurdle said. "Because 87 pitches here is not 87 pitches in Pittsburgh ... If we can't win a ballgame with an eight-run lead with two innings to play in the bullpen, we don't deserve to win the ballgame."
Fair enough, Mr. Hurdle.
... But I still wanted to hear it from Williams, too.
A little more hesitation than with Hurdle for sure, but it seems Williams was ultimately OK with the call as well. Still, for me, give me Williams back out there in the eighth.
• Josh Bell didn't get in on the offensive extravaganza. He went 0 for 3 with two walks, but — BUT, Lunatics — he fielded a ball cleanly at first and threw it to second to kick off a double play. It all sounds routine. But if you've watched Bell this year ... Yeah. Nothing is routine about that arm. That's a good sign for him — and it's a good sign for the team, too, that they can put up 11 runs without Bell's bat.
"Everything doesn't rely upon him," Hurdle said. "He's a big part of our offense. You cut up that pie, he's going to be a lot of it. However, we got other guys that can do things, and they did them tonight."
• Colin Moran put up a quiet 2 for 5 night with two RBIs, running his season total there to 74.
• Starling Marte did this ... again:
Starting to think he's really good at baseball.
• Bryan Reynolds Watch: With a 1-for-5 night, he's now 1 for 8 in his last two games. That puts him at .328 on the year, now fourth in the National League. The Mets’ Jeff McNeil went 0 for 4 tonight and fell into a first-place tie with Christian Yelich at .330. Meanwhile, after a 2 for 4 night Wednesday, Anthony Rendon climbed to .329 to snatch third place from Reynolds.
• The Pirates had at least one hit every inning ... until the seventh. Newman got hit by a pitch, Reynolds grounded into a double play, then Marte struck out in that one.
• Pierogis are infinitely cooler than dental hygiene. Evidence:
THIS DISGUSTS ME. Wow. A toothbrush just beat out a tooth and a tube of toothpaste in a 100-meterish dash. I can’t even explain how much better the Pierogi race is than this. A shame. #dkps #pirates pic.twitter.com/hBdwpSdxlB
— Hunter Alek Homistek (@HunterAHomistek) August 30, 2019
The race is way too short, there aren't enough competitors — I could go on. But I won't. Give me Jalapeño Hannah, Bacon Burt and friends all day over this.
• Tonight's attendance: 33,408.
• Time of game: 3 hours, 14 minutes. And now I'm craving pie.
• Yep. They still need fired. Olive um.
THE ESSENTIALS
• Boxscore
THE INJURIES
• Chris Archer (10-day IL, shoulder)
• Clay Holmes (10-day IL, quadriceps)
• Gregory Polanco (10-day IL, shoulder)
• Chris Stratton (10-day IL, right side inflammation)
• Yefry Ramirez (10-day IL, right calf strain)
• Lonnie Chisenhall (60-day IL, cat scratch fever)
Here's the most recent full report.
THE SCHEDULE
I'm back at it Friday, same time, same place. It'll be Dario Agrazal against Antonio Senzatela as the Pirates look to make it back-to-back W's.
THE COVERAGE
All our baseball content, including Mound Visit by Jason Rollison, Indy Watch by Matt Welch, and Altoona Watch by Jarrod Prugar, can be found on our Pirates page.
